Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
