I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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