your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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