He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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