she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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