All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize