my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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