I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
