Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
