i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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