we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
