I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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