If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
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Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
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Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She has the best kind of daddy issues
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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