There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
