is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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