I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
