me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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