I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
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Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
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