I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
