and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
