Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
