Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
