I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
