i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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