after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
