Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
