Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
