Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize