So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
