it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
