Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
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