oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
