i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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