Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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