i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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