And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
