I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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