Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
