You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize