Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
