I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
