Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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