He is an equal opportunity slut.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
