plz talk dirty to me
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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