We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
