haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
