just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
