More tranny stories later!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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