Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize