so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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