Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
