somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
