We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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