After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
