Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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