I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
