We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
