Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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